Surrogate

When someone important in your life passes away, no one can take their place. For all time there is a hole in your heart that can't be filled. Although I was only a youngster, Tom's passing left me with such a hole that today leaves me wondering what could have been.

After Tom died, our family was in turmoil. Mama still faced surgeries and health issues, Sam was without his big brother and daddy did his best to create a normal life for his boys all while going through his own grief, it was a challenge.

For me, life basically moved on. Grief isn't something a six year old grasps easily. While my family was grieving a special teenager stepped in and took me under his wing, in part to fill his own hurting heart, but more importantly to make sure a young kid didn't get lost in the shuffle, acting in many ways as the big brother I had lost.

Tim was Tom's best friend. They had been friends since we moved to God's Country. Tim was the high school quarterback, Tom the running back. They shared a bond.

Tim had always been a part of my life since I can remember. Around the house with Tom.

In the summer after Tom died, Tim took me on as his little buddy. In my eyes he had one of the best jobs in all of God's Country, he was the lifeguard at the private country club Kingwood. His day was spent hanging out by the small pool, catching rays and visiting with the guests and locals who would stop in for a plunge in the nice cool waters of the pool.

Our house was on the way to work for Tim and at the beginning of the summer after Tom died he started stopping by each day to "take me to work with him." I remember how exciting it was for me to pile into Tim's prized Mustang each morning. I always thought the foot-shaped gas pedal was one of the coolest things I had ever seen.

During that summer, Tim would stop by each day to pick me up. He taught me to swim in that pool, how to measure the chlorine levels and would let me throw chlorine in the pool.

Around lunchtime each day, Tim and I would make our way up to the top level of the gazebo overlooking the pool and it was there that he became my surrogate big brother. Each day, just the two of us, would sit and have our lunch together. We would talk and although I have no idea what we talked about, I like to think that those moments allowed him to move past his grief, of losing his best friend, and helped me understand and move on as well.

Tim has always remained close to our family. After high school he went away to college, got married, had kids and became a respected football coach and teacher. I know Tom would have been proud of him for that.

For my part, I moved on, made my way in life and hopefully have made those who love me proud. I know Tom would have liked that also.

I haven't seen Tim since mama and daddy's 50th Anniversary party. I never got the chance to tell him thank you for taking a little kid under his wing and I never had the opportunity to say thanks for being a surrogate.

I hope Tim knows that long before he got a degree in education he was already teaching. His classroom only consisted of one student, but he made a huge impression on that kid many years ago. Tim taught me life lessons under that gazebo, he also taught me kindness and compassion, a gesture as simple as taking a little buddy "to work with you" each day can shape a person's life, for that I know Tom would have been proud of Tim and for me I am forever grateful.

Thank you Tim, for stepping in as a surrogate, for teaching me about life and for making your best friend proud.