Aunt Beck is mama's older sister by just a couple of years. The two of them were very close, which may explain my connection to her. Aunt Beck turned 80 this month, a milestone worthy of celebration and a milestone worthy of reflection.
In many ways Aunt Beck and I are very similar. We are the children who flew the coop, moved away from home and settled on the beach. We connect through the sand between our toes.
As a child some of my fondest memories were of Aunt Beck's house in the Summer or on Spring Break. Our family would pile into the stationwagon and take off for a week at the beach, a week at Aunt Beck's house.
Now, the house we were visiting wasn't only Aunt Beck's, Uncle Larry and Melissa lived there too, a dog or hamster was often included in the mix.
Aunt Beck has lived in Fernandina Beach, Florida for all of her adult life. She and Uncle Larry moved there not long after they were married.
For me, Fernandina Beach was paradise, little did I know that until the fancy people found it in the 80's that it really wasn't all the rage until a name change made it Amelia Island. Mama used to joke with her friends that we had been going to Amelia Island before anyone even knew what Amelia Island was.
Aunt Beck, Uncle Larry and Melissa had a quiet house, everything neat and put away in its place. That was until the Rumsey clan would arrive with three boys, insatiable appetites and a boisterous energy that was difficult to tame.
We would visit Aunt Beck a couple of times each year, wreaking havoc on her peaceful existence each time we came.
Two or three times each year, Aunt Beck, Uncle Larry and Melissa would make their way to God's Country for a visit. You could almost see the culture shock on their faces when they arrived and soon realized they had left the melodic symphony of the ocean for the hectic chaos found on Old Buncomb Road.
They usually stayed with Ma- ma and Gramps when they came, about 30 miles from our house. I think they probably needed a safe place to retreat to.
Our visits to Aunt Beck's house were for the beach. When Aunt Beck and her family came to God's Country it was usually for the visits to those "cute little shops on Main Street."
Mama and Aunt Beck loved going in and out of the shops on Main Street when she came. The same shops that mama only occasionally would walk into during the rest of the year would become a magnetic force for mama and Aunt Beck during those visits.
Aunt Beck has always held a special place in my heart. Her dry sense of humor, devilish grin and zest for life are what attracts me.
As I have grown from childhood to adult life, Aunt Beck has become a force in my life. When I was thinking of moving to Florida, she was one of the people I spoke with.
My concern was that I wouldn't be able to be home when I "needed" to be there if I lived 12 hours away. Aunt Beck assured me that if I were to be happy in MY life I needed to follow my dreams and that the rest would take care of itself. She was right.
Aunt Beck is the person who guided me through my first few holidays away from home, and she was a role model for me to see how you can create a "Florida family" while never forgetting your real family.
When Aunt Beck married Uncle Larry she .....GASP.... left the Baptist Church and became a Methodist. During my search for faith, I did the same. Aunt Beck helped me realize it isn't about the family tradition of a denomination. It isn't about what faith you grew up in, what it is about is the path of faith you grow into.
After I moved to Florida, Aunt Beck and Uncle Larry continued their visits to God's country. Melissa was now married with her own children and Aunt Beck and Uncle Larry were now traveling to help take care of Ma-ma and Gramps as they made their long journey to heaven.
After ma-ma and gramps passed, not long after Uncle Larry's health began to fail and he passed before Christmas just a few years ago.
When it came time for me to make my next visit to God's Country, I asked Aunt Beck if she would like to go with me. Her house was almost perfectly half way in a 12 hour drive. Aunt Beck accepted my invitation to ride with me and this began a whole new adventure in our relationship.
I picked her up just off the I95 exit. Ground rules were set from the very first trip.... meet me at McDonald's just off of 95. I will drop you off at the same location on the way home. For the most part that has been our routine for several years now.
The other rule I set was, don't go to sleep and talk to me while we drive. I can assure you THAT rule has NEVER been broken!
From the time Aunt Beck sits down in the passenger seat until we arrive in God's Country we talk. We talk about anything and everything. She kids me and I kid her, she knows that we will stop 2 maybe 3 times tops on the road. She doesn't complain she just makes sure to take care of everything during these brief stops.
Driving up the road Aunt Beck tells me stories about the good ole days when she and mama were in High School. How their circle of friends used to congregate at my grandparents house and how Gramps would pile all their friends into his car and take them places.
We have talked about faith and Church news and business more than most people I have ever spoken to. Sometimes we even talk politics.
Several years ago, after mama's health began to fade Aunt Beck made a comment driving up the road, "Ken, once ma-ma and gramps started getting sick I always made sure I took all the clothes I may need for a visit because you just never know." In that very instant I knew exactly what she was saying and it was in that instant that I began to prepare myself for the inevitable loss of mama. Since that trip I always make sure to have "all the clothes I may need" because you just never know.
In February when we knew mama was making her final journey home, I called Aunt Beck at 11AM and told her I would be picking her up at 5, she was ready and in the car. We didn't talk as much on that trip, I assume for fear that we would both breakdown, but we did talk about the important stuff.
During that final week in Georgia, Aunt Beck was there every step of the way and she was the one who alerted us all that mama was gone..... I think mama planned it that way.
The trip back to Florida after mama passed was difficult, in many ways even harder than the drive up. On the way back we talked a lot about mama and the week we had just lived through, about mama's service, we talked about daddy and Sam and the grandkids and Donna, we talked about everyone.
We talked about how hard it would be not to be able to pick up the phone and talk to mama, after all Aunt Beck had been through it already. We talked about birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and just regular days and how they would be hard. But we also talked about the memories that we would carry with us, the memories that would make us smile and the memories that would bring a warmth to the heart.
When Aunt Beck got out of my car that day, I cried, she cried. There was no way to hold back the tears, they were going to come and we both knew it, the thing I didn't know would happen was that when I got back in my car to finish my drive home I had a strong sense of peace, I reflected on memories and my heart grew warm. Aunt Beck has a knack for teaching big lessons without ever trying, she did it again on that day.
In June I decided I was going to God's Country for Father's Day. It was my first visit home since mama passed and when I decided to go I invited Aunt Beck to go, she said yes. I was dreading the trip and I think she was too, but we both knew one trip had to be the first, so it may as well be now.
As usual we got into the car and took off. Since the first time Aunt Beck rode to God's Country with me, she has talked about how pretty the backroads are through Georgia. I am not the kind of guy who likes the back roads, I want to get on the Interstate and go, she likes to take her time and enjoy the scenery.
On this trip Aunt Beck threw down the ultimate guilt trip. "I would love to go on those back roads just one more time, this may be my last trip and I sure would love to see that pretty scenery." I insisted that I was NOT going on the back roads. For the next three hours I insisted that I wasn't going on the back roads until we reached Statesboro, Ga and she broke me.
I got off the interstate and made my way through Statesboro. I hadn't been there since I graduated college and thought it would be fun to reminisce for a bit. We drove into town, I showed her my college dorm and then we got onto the main road that I thought would take us home.
We were now on those back roads that she had longed for, I was going 35 mph and losing my patience, plus I was getting lost. We drove around in circles for about an hour until we finally got onto the road that we both agreed was the right road for us to be traveling during this excursion into the back roads of Georgia.
The trip home was about 2 hours longer than it should have been, but we saw cotton fields and antebellum houses. We saw the Wal-Mart that Aunt Beck and Uncle Larry used to always stop at on their journeys up and down the road. We reminisced and stepped back in time on those old 2 lane roads through Georgia.
Our visit home was much better than either of us expected, it was a wonderful family visit, it was hard without mama being there but it was our new normal and I am glad Aunt Beck was there to be a part of it.
Aunt Beck has lived 80 years, she has accomplished a lot in that time. She has kept that devilish grin and dry sense of humor for all these years. She has nurtured, she has loved and she has taught. Aunt Beck has become more important to me each and every year, I love her and wish for many more trips together to God's Country. Although one thing is for sure... she HAS taken her last trip through on the back roads with me driving, that is until she guilts me into it again!
